The Power of Imperfection: Make Better Decisions, Take Real Action | Oliver Burkeman

In today’s episode, we’re joined by Dr. Caroline Fleck—licensed psychologist, corporate consultant, and Stanford adjunct. With years of clinical practice and executive coaching under her belt, Dr. Fleck has developed powerful validation techniques that help high performers build authentic relationships and navigate complex conversations. Her groundbreaking work, detailed in her new book, Validation, transforms the way professionals connect both personally and professionally.  Join us for a compelling conversation with Dr. Caroline Fleck as she reveals why the art of validation is your secret weapon—and how embracing vulnerability, strategic empathy, and even unconventional self-disclosure can transform your leadership. Dr. Fleck shares proven insights from her work in clinical psychology and executive coaching, and explains why emotional intelligence is your ultimate edge in today's fast-paced world. What to Listen For Introduction – 00:00:00 Why is validation psychology’s best-kept secret—and how is it different from praise or agreement? The Eight Levels of Validation – 00:04:10 What are the eight levels of validation, and how do they build on each other to create emotional depth and rapport? Why is attending the foundation of every meaningful interaction—and how can you practice it today? What makes copying such a surprisingly powerful way to signal connection and build trust? Contextualizing and Equalizing – 00:23:06 How does contextualizing help you understand behavior that seems irrational or frustrating on the surface? What’s the key to equalizing without hijacking the conversation or minimizing the other person’s experience? Proposing and Taking Action – 00:36:43 How can you “listen to the unsaid” and use proposing to surface unspoken thoughts or emotions? How can misusing action harm relationships—and what should you do instead? Emoting and Disclosure – 00:47:10 Why is emoting such a powerful signal of empathy, and how can you practice it without feeling awkward? What makes disclosure the highest—and riskiest—form of validation, especially in professional settings? Why emotional intelligence is more essential than ever in the age of AI A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Resources from this Episode Validation: How the Skill Set That Revolutionized Psychology Will Transform Your Relationships, Increase Your Influence, and Change Your Life Dr Caroline Fleck’s website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we’re joined by Jenny Wood—career coach, former Google executive, and author of Wild Courage. Over 18 years at Google, Jenny rose from entry-level to executive and created one of the company’s largest career development programs. Her work focuses on breaking the myths of professional success and teaching high performers how to reclaim “taboo” traits—like being shameless, weird, or even manipulative—to build authentic relationships, increase visibility, and take control of their careers. Introduction Join us for a bold and insightful conversation with Jenny Wood as she reveals why playing it safe is holding you back—and how to reclaim traits like weird, shameless, and even manipulative to fuel career growth. Jenny shares hard-earned lessons from her rise to executive at Google, the power of strategic visibility, and why soft skills are your ultimate edge in the AI era. What to Listen For Introduction – 00:00:00 What separates high performers who rise from those who stagnate in their careers? What soft skills do tens of thousands of high performers crave—despite excelling technically? Visibility, Influence, and Strategic Self-Promotion – 00:05:21 Why managing your boss isn't enough—and what it means to “manage higher” and “manage diagonally” How to get noticed before a promotion cycle even begins. What’s the right way to brag—and how do you do it without sounding arrogant? Reclaiming “Taboo” Traits – 00:17:31 What are the nine negative traits Jenny says you must reclaim—and why are they the key to getting ahead? How do bold, assertive actions (like chasing someone off a subway) illustrate professional courage? Why being manipulative might actually make you a better leader Frameworks That Help You Win – 00:34:27 How to use the “WIN” framework to advocate for your needs without guilt Why saying “yes” to everything might be sabotaging your career What is the “SAFE” framework for giving clear, kind, and honest feedback? Is It Time to Leave? – 00:48:01 What’s the FLIP framework—and how can it help you decide whether to stay or go? How to know when your manager is holding you back—and when it’s time to make your move A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Resources from this Episode Jenny Wood’s website Wild Courage: Go After What You Want and Get It Jenny Wood on LinkedIn Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's guest is Steve Magness, a world-renowned expert on human performance and resilience. As the bestselling author of Do Hard Things and Win the Inside Game, Steve has coached Olympic athletes, executives, and high performers to break through mental barriers and sustain success. With a background in sports science and psychology, he explores the hidden forces that shape motivation, decision-making, and well-being. His latest book reveals why traditional success mindsets often backfire—and how shifting to a quest-driven approach can help you thrive in both work and life. Join us for a powerful conversation with Steve Magness as he reveals why the mindset that drives success can also sabotage happiness and long-term growth. How does the pressure to achieve create hidden barriers to fulfillment? What separates those who thrive from those who burn out? Steve shares deep insights into performance psychology, the dangers of an outcome-obsessed culture, and the key mindset shift that elite athletes and high performers use to sustain success. What to Listen For Introduction – 00:00:00 Why does an outcome-obsessed mindset increase stress and sabotage long-term performance? What can Olympic athletes teach us about shifting from a performance mindset to a quest mindset? Escaping Survival Mode and Overcoming Anxiety – 00:13:19 What are the subtle signs that you’re stuck in survival mode? Why does the human brain struggle with uncertainty, and how can you use that knowledge to your advantage? Balancing Achievement and Enjoyment – 00:24:36 How do elite performers reframe failure to fuel their growth instead of destroying their confidence? What three key elements make up a resilient personal narrative, and how can you develop yours? The Exploration vs. Commitment Dilemma – 00:38:57 How does modern technology distort our expectations in relationships, careers, and personal growth? What strategies can help you balance exploration with meaningful commitment? Moving from Passive Consumption to Active Creation – 00:43:08 How can you design your environment to prioritize deep work and meaningful progress? How do elite performers detach from short-term results while maintaining high standards? A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Resources from this Episode Steve Magness’s website Win the Inside Game: How to Move from Surviving to Thriving, and Free Yourself Up to Perform Steve Magness on Instagram Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we explore the essential leadership skills that transform good managers into great ones with Sabina Nawaz. As the CEO of Nawaz Consulting, Sabina has advised Fortune 500 executives, government leaders, and nonprofit organizations on how to navigate the complexities of leadership, influence, and communication. Sabina is also the author of You're the Boss: Become the Manager You Want to Be and Others Need. Introduction Join us for an eye-opening conversation with Sabina Nawaz as she breaks down the biggest leadership challenges that most managers never see coming. Why is getting promoted one of the riskiest moments in your career? How does pressure—not power—corrupt even the best leaders? And what simple shifts can transform an overwhelmed boss into a high-impact leader?  What to Listen For Introduction – 00:00:00 Why is getting promoted one of the most dangerous moments in your career? Why do the skills that get you promoted stop working once you’re in a leadership role? What are the three biggest mistakes new leaders make without realizing it? How Communication Defines Great Leadership – 00:09:19 What is the biggest blind spot leaders have when giving feedback? How does a simple two-word question ("Say more") instantly improve communication? The 5-to-1 Rule: How Feedback Shapes Performance – 00:19:45 What is the ideal ratio of positive to corrective feedback—and why is it so high? Why do managers fear giving too much praise, and how does this backfire? How can positive feedback be structured so it actually drives high performance? The Danger of Singular Thinking in Leadership – 00:27:08 How can a simple mental exercise help leaders see multiple perspectives? How can managers prevent team members from playing one leader against another? Mastering Self-Leadership – 00:39:05 How do childhood experiences shape leadership styles, and why does this matter? What micro-habits can leaders use to stay composed and effective under pressure? The Delegation Dial: Why Leaders Struggle to Let Go – 00:49:26 What is the Delegation Dial, and how can it help leaders empower their teams? Why do most meetings waste time—and what should they focus on instead? A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Resources from this Episode Sabina’s website You're the Boss: Become the Manager You Want to Be (and Others Need) Sabina Nawaz on LinkedIn Sabina Nawaz on Instagram Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we discuss the psychology of high achievement and sustainable success with Dr. Mary Anderson, who has helped countless professionals break free from burnout while maintaining their edge. She is the author of The Happy High Achiever: 8 Essentials to Overcome Anxiety, Manage Stress, and Energize Yourself for Success Without Losing Your Edge. Join us for an insightful conversation with Dr. Mary Anderson as she unpacks the psychology of high achievement and the hidden mental traps that hold ambitious professionals back. Why do so many high achievers struggle with burnout, stress, and self-doubt? How can we shift from relentless perfectionism to sustainable excellence?  What to Listen For Introduction – 00:00:00 Why do high achievers often feel unfulfilled despite their success? What are the most common self-sabotaging behaviors that high performers struggle with? The S.E.L.F. Formula: Four Pillars of Sustainable Success – 00:04:10 How does exercise directly impact cognitive function and productivity? What simple habit can boost your motivation and prevent burnout? The Troublesome Trifecta: Cognitive Distortions Holding You Back – 00:14:29 What are cognitive distortions, and how do they undermine confidence and success? How does perfectionism limit growth, and what’s a better alternative? Breaking Free from Perfectionism and Impostor Syndrome – 00:26:27 How can high achievers reframe mistakes to fuel progress instead of anxiety? What practical mindset shift helps overcome the fear of failure? The Power of Small Victories – 00:35:01 How can high achievers reframe negative self-talk to break the cycle of avoidance? What simple litmus test helps identify harmful thought patterns? Rewiring Your Brain for Success with the "Thank You, Maui" Practice – 00:47:55 How can high achievers reprogram their thinking to enjoy both success and happiness? What is the one mindset shift that immediately lowers stress and enhances performance? A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. Upgrade your space with Thuma—where modern design meets craftsmanship and functionality. Get $100 off your first bed purchase at thuma.co/charm. Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Resources from this Episode Dr Mary Anderson’s website The Happy High Achiever: 8 Essentials to Overcome Anxiety, Manage Stress, and Energize Yourself for Success Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices