The Art of Charm

What if peak performance isn’t about superhumans — but about biology? In this powerful conversation, AJ and Johnny sit down with New York Times bestselling author and flow researcher Steven Kotler to reveal why we’re all hardwired for the extraordinary. From 1990s action sports to neuroscience labs, Steven breaks down the science of flow, how communities amplify creativity, and how you can unlock heightened focus, creativity, and resilience — no matter your background. Discover how flow states work in the brain, why nature is a “multi-tool solution” against burnout, how frustration signals progress (not failure), and the simple daily practices that make extraordinary performance repeatable. This episode will show you why elite performers across industries aren’t chasing hacks — they’re mastering biology. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why flow states prevent burnout and boost resilience [00:01:10] The 1990s action sports revolution and redefining “impossible” [00:04:00] How creativity became the key flow trigger that changed everything [00:07:00] Punk rock, DIY culture, and the psychology of innovation [00:10:30] Flow and community: how group flow amplifies performance [00:15:00] Micro flow vs. macro flow — and why both matter [00:18:30] The myth of “10% brain” and what actually happens in flow [00:22:00] Nature as a peak performance “multi-tool” [00:26:30] Flow triggers for everyday conversations and relationships [00:33:00] Group flow, improvisation, and the power of “yes, and” [00:35:30] The 6 positive psychology basics that build burnout immunity [00:43:00] Why gratitude isn’t fluffy — it rewires your brain for optimism [00:50:00] Resetting your nervous system through flow [00:53:00] Small “i” impossibles: how extraordinary starts [00:57:00] Why frustration is proof you’re on the right track [01:03:00] The real path to mastering passion and purpose A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠unlockyourxfactor.com⁠⁠⁠⁠  The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially.  Visit the ⁠⁠⁠⁠artofcharm.com/intel ⁠⁠⁠⁠for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁠makeheadway.com/CHARM ⁠⁠⁠⁠and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at ⁠⁠⁠⁠SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM⁠⁠⁠⁠ TODAY to get started  Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Episode resources: ⁠Steven Kotler: Author and Speaker The Art of Impossible: A Peak Performance Primer Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the secret to modern influence was 2,000 years old? In this episode of Social Intelligence Brief, AJ and Johnny uncover Cicero’s three-step formula for magnetic persuasion—a framework so powerful it once stopped riots and still drives billion-dollar pitches today. Drawing on ancient rhetoric, neuroscience, and modern leadership psychology, they reveal how to frame problems, layer reasoning, and close with intensity—the timeless skills behind every great communicator. From Roman courts to boardrooms, you’ll learn how to turn logic into emotion, guide attention like a conductor, and leave any audience moved to act. Whether you’re leading a meeting, pitching investors, or navigating conflict, this episode shows you how Cicero’s forgotten formula can help you speak with conviction—and influence with integrity. What to Listen For [00:00:00] How Cicero turned chaos into persuasion—his 3-step model [00:01:12] Why structure—not charisma—is the key to attention [00:02:10] Step 1: Frame the problem to define reality [00:03:22] The modern VP example—how framing shifts energy and focus [00:04:00] Step 2: Layer your reasons (fact → value → emotion) [00:05:12] The neuroscience of stories and why emotion seals logic [00:06:10] Step 3: Close with intensity, not volume [00:07:05] The psychology of endings—why the close is all people remember [00:08:10] The 3-question test for persuasive clarity [00:08:40] Final recap: Frame it. Layer it. Close it. A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠unlockyourxfactor.com⁠⁠⁠⁠  The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially.  Visit the ⁠⁠⁠⁠artofcharm.com/intel ⁠⁠⁠⁠for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁠makeheadway.com/CHARM ⁠⁠⁠⁠and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at ⁠⁠⁠⁠SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM⁠⁠⁠⁠ TODAY to get started  Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do some people always seem “lucky” while others miss out? In this episode, AJ and Johnny sit down with Wharton economics professor Judd Kessler, author of Lucky by Design, to reveal the hidden rules that govern life’s most important markets—from dating to job hunting to Taylor Swift tickets. These “choose me” markets don’t run on money alone; they run on signals, timing, and strategy. You’ll learn why signaling interest often beats being perfect, how “settling for silver” can land you gold, and why gaming the system sometimes backfires. Judd breaks down strategies for college admissions, career opportunities, dating apps, and even Costco parking lots. Whether you’re chasing a dream job, trying to stand out in dating, or just fighting bots for concert tickets, this conversation shows you how to design your own luck. What to Listen For [00:01:04] What it means to be “lucky by design” and why hidden markets matter [00:02:11] Taylor Swift tickets, hot restaurants, and how hidden rules decide who wins [00:05:15] “Choose me” markets—jobs, schools, and dating—where the other side decides [00:07:29] The two signals that matter most: competence and real interest [00:10:22] Johnny’s story of breaking into bands through excitement and persistence [00:13:24] Why idiosyncratic (weird) signals often work better than safe ones [00:19:39] Costly signals—when to use them, and when they’re wasted [00:21:41] The strategy of “settling for silver” to actually win [00:27:05] When gaming the system works—and when it backfires [00:29:53] Designing your inbox and attention like a market [00:35:20] How a strong plan B lets you go for gold [00:37:38] Costco parking lots as the perfect example of hidden strategy [00:47:17] Hidden markets at home: sharing chores and mental load with equity [00:55:05] Why ticket resale markets frustrate Judd—and how he wants to fix them A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at ⁠⁠⁠unlockyourxfactor.com⁠⁠⁠  The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially.  Visit the ⁠⁠⁠artofcharm.com/intel ⁠⁠⁠for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at ⁠⁠⁠makeheadway.com/CHARM ⁠⁠⁠and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at ⁠⁠⁠SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM⁠⁠⁠ TODAY to get started  Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Episode resources: Judd B. Kessler Lucky By Design Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if confidence wasn’t in your head, but in your posture? In this episode, AJ and Johnny unpack the science of body language and embodied cognition—how standing tall, opening your chest, and taking up space sends powerful signals to your brain and to everyone around you. Backed by psychology research, they show how posture isn’t just a reflection of mood—it actively creates it. You’ll discover why slumped shoulders and “phone posture” leak low status, while upright, expansive body language instantly boosts mood, confidence, and presence. From the “doorway drill” to quick body checks, AJ and Johnny share practical tools to reset your default signals so you project confidence in every meeting, date, or social interaction—before you even say a word. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why posture changes your mood, confidence, and signals [00:01:19] How unconscious slumping leaks insecurity—and how body checks fix it [00:02:48] The epidemic of phone posture and desk work destroying confidence [00:03:13] Embodied cognition: how your body teaches your mind to feel safe or defeated [00:04:04] Research: upright posture increases self-esteem, mood, and processing speed [00:04:28] Power posing and why expansive body language boosts risk tolerance [00:05:16] The posture loop: stand tall, make eye contact, take up space, smile [00:06:03] The doorway drill: reset your posture every time you walk through a door [00:07:04] Client story: how Jim rewired his posture with reminders and changed his default [00:07:43] Why confidence is easier to control through body language than thoughts A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at ⁠⁠⁠unlockyourxfactor.com⁠⁠⁠  The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially.  Visit the ⁠⁠⁠artofcharm.com/intel ⁠⁠⁠for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at ⁠⁠⁠makeheadway.com/CHARM ⁠⁠⁠and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at ⁠⁠⁠SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM⁠⁠⁠ TODAY to get started  Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are we drowning in psychobabble? In this episode, AJ and Johnny sit down with psychotherapist and author Joe Nucci to debunk the viral mental health myths dominating social media. From the overuse of “trauma” and “gaslighting” to the idea that everyone needs therapy, Joe exposes how pop-psychology has blurred the lines between real treatment and trendy jargon. They dig into why therapy has become a status symbol, how diagnoses are being misused as identity labels, and the dangers of weaponizing terms like narcissism in dating and relationships. Joe also explains what gaslighting actually is (and why it can’t happen in a single argument), and how social media is encouraging unhealthy identity-seeking through mental health labels. Whether you’ve rolled your eyes at overused buzzwords online—or wondered if you’re guilty of using them yourself—this conversation will help you cut through the noise, spot real red flags, and separate genuine mental health wisdom from misleading myths. What to Listen For [00:00:22] Defining psychobabble—why using therapy language as weapons is so common [00:03:23] Why we crave explanations—and how psychobabble gives false certainty [00:04:52] Myth #1: “Everybody needs therapy”—why it’s not true [00:07:36] How therapy turned into a status symbol and dating requirement [00:12:59] Is more intimacy always better? Why therapy shouldn’t replace real connection [00:17:18] Myth #2: “Everyone has trauma”—the real definition of trauma vs. pop culture [00:25:39] Myth #3: “Your diagnosis is your identity”—why labels aren’t the end point [00:32:30] How “awkward” became “neurodivergent”—the dangers of expanding definitions [00:36:25] Why “everyone’s ex is a narcissist” has become toxic for relationships [00:46:25] The real definition of gaslighting—and why it takes time, not one fight [00:52:01] How true gaslighting destroys self-trust and why casual misuse is harmful [00:53:36] Where to find Joe’s book Psychobabble: Viral Mental Health Myths and the Truths That Will Set You Free A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at ⁠⁠unlockyourxfactor.com⁠⁠  The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially.  Visit the ⁠⁠artofcharm.com/intel ⁠⁠for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at ⁠⁠makeheadway.com/CHARM ⁠⁠and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at ⁠⁠SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM⁠⁠ TODAY to get started  Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Episode resources: Joe Nucci Psychobabble Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices