Dropping the Mask

What would you have done? It's one of the most enduring questions in psychology. We all like to think that in a moment of crisis, we'd rise to the occasion and show courage. And yet many of us have had experiences where we followed orders and did what we were told to do. This week, we talk with psychologist Sunita Sah about the reasons why many of us silence ourselves and follow orders, and how we can align our words and actions with our values.

Last week on the show, we looked at the science of conversation, and how even ordinary chats can involve a delicate dance of coordination. This week, we explore the discussions we all dread: the tough ones. Telling someone they treated us poorly. Demanding a raise. Taking away an elderly relative's car keys. We talk with Alison Wood Brooks about what makes difficult conversations difficult, and a series of psychological techniques to help you navigate them.

Just because we’ve been doing something for a long time doesn’t mean we’re doing it right. One part of our lives where this may be particularly true is when we're talking with others. This week, we bring you the first of a two-part look at what makes someone skilled at socializing. Behavioral scientist Alison Wood Brooks explains why conversations are much more complex than most of us realize — and how to engage in a more meaningful back-and-forth with another person.

Holding a grudge can feel like a form of justice, a way of punishing those who have wronged us. But psychologist Fred Luskin says that more often than not, grudges don't hurt the targets of our anger. Instead, they only hurt us. This week, we explore the lingering effects of long-standing animosities, and how to let them go.

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." It's been 45 years since John Lennon sang that line, yet it's an idea that continues to speak to an uncomfortable truth. While we all like to think we have some measure of control over how our lives will unfold, our plans are often upended by unknown events and curveballs we couldn't have predicted. This week, we conclude our Wellness 2.0 series by talking with political scientist Brian Klaas. He studies how we respond to the random events that shape our lives, and how we can turn them to our advantage.